On Ageing...

I´ve been thinking about my latest post here on my blog today ... and come to the conclusion it has to do with ageing.  I simply need more peace and quiet, time to rest, and really appreciate the small things life has to offer in that respect.

A picture of my mum and dad from many years ago comes into mind, as they were spending one of many Saturday nights in front of the telly watching some music show. Mum in her tv-chair and dad in that rocking chair he liked so much. And then dad would ask my mum "Shall we dance?" and mum would say "yes" or just nodd,  and they would get up and dance together on the living room floor. Back then I found it amusing, a bit embarrassing even ... but now I understand completely .... :)


When you tend to spend more time thinking about life, what has been, and what lies ahead that´s a part of the process of ageing as well, isn´t it?
My husband is for the time being working far away from home, and is usually only able to spend the weekends at home, which are shortened by the necessary travels. When he´s home,  he´s mostly climbing up and down our house walls ... I hardly ever get a chance to really spend time with him...It`s so true that saying, that you can´t really appreciate something until it´s gone...Our children are both in the process of untieing their bond with us. It ´s subtle and slow, but it´s an ongoing process, and completely natural ...ageing...

What do I want from life? That´s a million dollar question. Will I go on like I´ve done up til now considering family and work? Or should I try something else? What do I WANT? In a few years the children will leave the nest. What then? My mind is very much preoccupied with questions like these. My dream is for us to move abroad when there´s only the two of us left, somewhere nice, warm and beautiful or to a place completely different from this small town -  a big city would be tremendous as well!! I have a Capricorn husband ... his line of work enables him to work abroad, but those of you who know the Signs also know it has to be well planned before anything of that kind would take place ... reluctant to change, play it (too) safe by planning and organizing, some boring characteristics of Capricorns.... sigh...

Some people would call this a middle age crisis. I refuse to think about it that way. It is quite normal and healthy to think about changes in life every now and then. It keeps you alert and mobile. It shouldn´t stop once you´ve started your career, bought that house and car, got married and got yourself a family!! In my world, doing the same things year after year, silent, as those cynical lines of bitterness and boredom grow into your skin is a much less attractive option. And there are lots of people doing just that. I wonder if they know that it shows how fed up and sad they really are? How well you can see that in their faces, their eyes, the way they are and  move, their carriage, as well as in what they say.... ?

 I think changes in the inner landscapes, feelings and passions are up to the individual, his or her character and experiences in life. I don´t however think that inner landscapes change as a result of the process of ageing. As Brel put it in his song "d´etre vieux sans etre adultes" - that is fully possible! But the physical signs inevitably start to show, unless you put yourself under the knife...Fine lines turn into nonconcealable wrinkles, hair getting gray - thank god for the colour in the bottle ;),  bodyparts starting to ache.... well, I haven´t come as far as to aching bodyparts, but it´s probably around the corner ... in less than ten years. A vivid memory comes to mind,  when I saw myself in a mirror wearing my reading glasses for the first time. For a split second I was shocked and thought "who´s that?" ... and then I remembered. I looked so much like my mum...